You'll be in my heart!!! as long as my heart still beats!!!

My feeling is just like a roller couster without a terminal, ups & downs, none stop..i m listening to jays latest single, called 'shuo hao de xing fu'..every melody, every words from the song, touches deep down my heart..how i wish to be a child once more, just cried out whenever u feel like crying..unlike now.........only able to cry with my heart..it has been a while since i had to suffer like this, every single nite..how i wish she'll read my blog, wat i nvr express to her b4..listening to this song,makes me recall back the stars i made for her, 799, written with wat i'd plan for our future in every single stars, our family's future, our son,our daughter,our grandson,our grandaughter,our honeymoon,our family's vacation,our 1st house,our summer house,our marriage,our anniversaries,and the most importantly,walking on the beach,holding hands,when we were 80..my career,was affected by her,which i nvr though it'll eventually happen to me..all the while i think tat career is the most important part in a man's life,untill now,i m too coward to face the truth..i really wonder wat to do,to keep still with my philosophy?or chooses to surrender to the power of love..i always had an extremely big ambition,i just hope that it'll goes smoothly along the way,but.....LOVE???? extremely horrible,extremely cruel,extremely hard to manage!!!i dun expect her to understand wat i m doin now will eventually lead me to my success,i only hope tat she can support me for wat i did,trust me,trust tat i m doing the rite thg,trust tat i chooses the rite path,just like how i chooses her..i dun care how my family objected me,not tat i doesnt love them,just tat i m sure tat they'll be proud of me 1day..i m sure tat the day is coming near..i really need her to be the women behind me when the day comes,where every1 respect me,proud of me & believed in my dreams..coz,she'l be unreplacable in my heart,for wat we've gone through..from the first day we met,so many obstacles we've gone through 2gthr,to fight the thing tat only belongs to us,the LOVE tat we use to love each other..its so deep,n i believed tat it is not so weak,like NOW..lastly,i just wana tell her, I LOVE U..